A lonely diagnosis

I received the news that I am no longer a cancer survivor. I am again a cancer fighter. Part of me just wants to keep it to myself and hope everybody finds out somehow. It is actually really stressful to simply utter the words of this diagnosis. I can’t even write it. Maybe because I am using text-to-type LOL.

I know people care, but the things that come out of their mouths are sometimes very interesting and/or inappropriate. For instance, someone said to me “You were doing so good!” As if I am controlling the gate of cancer to come in or not. People are also volunteering left or right “If you need anything, just call.” I don’t know what to say. What I need is for this to go away. Then there are the people that feel so uncomfortable and sincerely don’t want to offend me, so they avoid me, which is even more hurtful. No eye contact, no normal people conversation, nothing. I’m still a person. I still have kids that are needy. I still want to be loved.